Thursday 26 April 2012


Under Pressure


Women are under too much pressure to breastfeed, my friend complained recently, and that’s not fair to those who choose to formula feed. I’ve been digesting this for a while. And, actually, it’s an argument I keep on hearing. I suspect I’m not the only one?

At first I wanted to dismiss this. I’ve never felt a pressure to breastfeed. Not an external one, anyway. If this perceived pressure, however, is resulting in feelings of negativity towards breastfeeding and breastfeeders, then it must be taken seriously, surely.

Initially, I want to think about what pressure is. We don’t tend to talk about feeling pressured to do things that we find easy and enjoyable; I don’t feel pressured to eat this slice of chocolate cake (I wish I had a slice of chocolate cake) although, technically, I probably was by advertising, special offers, and the fact that my mate told me she had some chocolate cake last night. You probably don’t feel pressure to take a bubble bath, cuddle your partner, or read that juicy novel you’ve been into. These are nice things to do even though they sometimes require a little effort. Perhaps those women who feel pressured to breastfeed don’t see nursing as an enjoyable activity. That’s not to say they don’t see nursing as beneficial; passing exams and earning money are beneficial, for instance, but much more likely to be loaded with feelings of pressure because they’re hard work. To what extent do women who feel pressure to breastfeed see it as being an unpleasant and difficult activity?

I suppose to answer that we need to think about who is feeling this pressure. To me, two groups are distinguishable: those who already have first-hand experiences of breastfeeding, and those who haven’t. The feelings of pressure will be rooted in different places for each of these women. Women who have previously breastfed but feel pressure to do it again are likely to have had negative experiences, which are possibly wrapped up in guilt and since that’s another blog post let’s take the ‘virgin’ breastfeeder first:

For a woman who has never breastfed her first encounter of pressure to do so is likely to be from the midwife she sees while she is expecting her first child. Whether or not you or I would interpret the midwife as pressuring is irrelevant, really, as this pregnant mother does and it’s her response that we’re currently concerned with. We have to remember that it’s highly likely that this mother’s experiences of baby-feeding, right up until the point of conversation with the midwife, have been formula-skewed. It’s likely that she would have been formula-fed herself at some point and that her brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews would have been too. She would also have seen bottles everywhere; almost ubiquitously hailed as the icon of baby feeding and printed on cafe walls, bibs, and baby clothes. The chances are pretty high that when she played with dolls as a child she ‘fed’ them from a moulded plastic bottle (or one of those where the ‘milk’ vanishes if you turn it upside down if her parents had the cash). She would have seen acres of shelf space given over to SMA and Aptamil, and a fair few formula...sorry, follow-on milk adverts on TV. Statistically, her friends with babies will have started off breastfeeding, before moving to formula. This will result in her having heard plenty of explanations as to why breastfeeding ‘didn’t work’, ranging from the painful (“my nipples were virtually hanging off”) to the mysterious (“the baby just wouldn’t latch on”). She’ll have heard that ‘breast is best’, but she’ll also be pretty damn sure that it’s hard work. If she was raised in Western society – as we’re assuming she has been – our pregnant mother is almost certain to have been bombarded with images of unobtainable female bodies and sexualised breasts for two or three decades and therefore have a deeply ingrained understanding of how she should view her own boobs (imperfect and rude). She’ll probably never have risked exposing her nipple in a public place.

Cue the midwife and her leaflets about the positives of breastfeeding. Leaflets that tell her she must outdo all her friends by exclusively breastfeeding for six months. Leaflets that turn over at least half of their printing space to troubleshooting ‘common problems’. And leaflets that are often accompanied by a demand for intentions right there and then. When the midwife asks our pregnant mother how she is going to feed her baby there only seems to be one correct answer... and it’s not the one she’s used to being exposed to. I’m not saying that the picture I have painted is representative of all expectant mothers, but if she was part of a society in which breastfeeding was seen as normal, pleasurable and public, would she feel pressure to nurse? Or would she just do it because that’s what people do? What if she lived in a world in which the question wasn’t asked because breastfeeding was so near-universal? Would she feel more or less pressure in this situation? Would the nursing be more or less achievable?

The experience of pressure doesn’t just come down to which side of the argument is louder or who spends the most money on advertising. It’s about perceptions of normality and about the extent to which an individual feels comfortable about what she is being asked to do. People don’t have to be persuaded very hard to do things they see as easy, positive, and normal. The pregnant woman sees the midwife’s leaflets and questions as pressure because her mind’s already made up how she’s going to ultimately feed her baby. Her mind has been made up for her.





8 comments:

  1. I've read the post and I agree with it, but all I can think about is how much I want chocolate cake ;)

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    1. OK, now I've had some chocolate cake I can think about this more rationally...normalising breastfeeding is definitely the thing that is wrong in the UK (vs Scandinavia, for example) but also the thing that is hardest to change. How to do it? Encourage cafes to have big sofas reserved for breastfeeding mothers? Free cake for bfeeding mothers? (yup, my mind is still on cake)...it's a slow process, but a girl can dream. Making sure new mothers in hospital get a decent night's sleep after birth would be a good start..maybe by letting their partners stay with them? And hope about more education on safe co-sleeping? How many mothers give up bfeeding causer they're just too exhausted? You've made me think...thanks! :)

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  2. Ha! I think you're entirely right londonwithatoddler. I think the process needs to be ubiquitous, starting way before women get pregnant. It might be contentious, but if formula sales were banned (and replaced with free prescriptions of formula for mother/baby's who genuinely can't nurse) then we could concentrate on supporting breastfeeding free from the influence of formula advertising/culture. People who were seen to be formula feeding needn't be met with prejudice under that system because everyone would know that there was a genuine problem. Perhaps wet nursing would even come back into fashion!

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    1. I might have been more incline to bottle feed if I had on prescription. I tried to bf for 6 months with top up formula, expressing, fenugreek, domperidom ect and only managed to fully bf when I started weening. He is 2 and i'm still breast feeding!

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    2. That's fab. Sounds like you've done brilliantly. When I say 'on prescription' I mean issued only by a health care professional well-trained in the physiology of breastfeeding (which many GPs sadly aren't) and accompanied by ongoing support.

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  3. Wow! What brilliant idea's londonwithatoddler and loquaciouslactator! I have always looked at the negative stigma of breastfeeding as something that is so ingrained in British society and that involves so many other areas (unobtainable female bodies, sexualised breasts, dare I say it, the porn industry, advertising of formula, bottles, medical staff that aren't educated in breastfeeding) that it would never be changed no matter how many people fought for it. I was a young mum of 20 when I had my daughter and I had felt a great pressure from my own mother to breast feed her when she arrived. I was not anti-breastfeeding, I loved the idea of feeding my baby myself but the idea of getting my boob out in public made me feel a little bit sick. Essentially I had only just got these breasts and got used to them myself and yet now I was having to show them to the world in order to feed my beautiful baby. These are clearly my early experiences of feeding in public and over the months I got used to feeding my baba out and about and ended up enjoying it and being sad when it ended. But my point is, I am sure I am not the only one to feel like this regardless of age or status. Imagine how welcoming it would be to sit down in a cafe to feed your baby and, whilst your other half or friend was up ordering, one of the staff came up to you and gave you a glass of water and let you choose a piece of cake for free just because you were breastfeeding! I would tell all my friends about it! And not stigmatising co-sleeping! That would have rid me of a lot of early parenthood guilt if it wasn't regarded as trying to kill your baby! Any way! I'm off on a ramble! But great idea's, I just wish the health professionals and powers that be would read them and take note!

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  4. Bloody hell, do you not realise that the world is full of women who want desperately to breast feed but CAN'T? They're on harmful medication, they don't produce enough milk, their baby finds it impossible to latch on properly. People like you make me sick. You're patronising, insensitive and think you and your breastfeeding are the centre of the world. Just back off for christ's sake. Live and let live. Breastfeed and mind your own business.

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    1. I don't see anything in this article that criticises women who make an informed choice not to breastfeed based on their individual circumstances.
      This article is about cultural pressures that take away women's opportunity to make an informed choice for themselves. As someone who clearly understands the disappointment of not being able to breastfeed when planned, surely you can see that it is not right that women who may have wished to breastfeed, have that opportunity taken away from them by misinformation and lack of support?

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